Gifts, not diseases

Autism is a gift from God. All people who are autistic are autistic - get rid of the “functioning” label…low functioning, medium function, high functioning. So what. Medium and high functioning people who have autism are still autistic. It’s a unique part of who I am. I am not sick, I am not crazy; I’m just autistic. Different, made from a different world - heaven. I was born here, in heaven.

It means I am shy and it’s hard to talk to people, and I feel awkward and I apologize for being myself. It means sometimes, usually blacking out, I scream and hit my head and my legs. I rock back and forth. I sit outside on a swing in the evening rocking back and forth. Then I swing as high as I can, and I jump off. I’m quiet and peaceful. I shun evil - autism stops me from talking to people who won’t accept me anyways.

I feel weird, and freaky, and unique.I was made this way. It means squishy thingies calm me down. Sometimes I just need a hug, and no one’s there because I have walls built around me. I let my true family in. I try.

It means, when I love, it’s real, because it’s harder for me. It means I’m smart, good at multi-variable calculus even though I was never taught it - and trigonometry - I love trigonometry and I want to learn it. It means I can be fluent in many languages, someday. It means I’m me. it means mad-pride. I am overwhelmed with God’s love for me. i know I will never die. It doesn’t matter if I hit my head or cut myself occasionally. I’m not mute. Maybe I started out that way; I don’t know…I’m a trillion something years old. I’m a cherub.