Elvish Heartbreak

     I am filled with God's love, and my love for my soulmate. I thought my soulmate wasn't in love with me, so I felt elvish heartbreak. The symptoms are muscle pains and weakness, coldness, weakness, chest pains, agonizing body pains and dull aches, and headaches. It comes and goes. When it's gone, I wonder if I'm still in love with my soulmate. I feel numb and empty. Then I listen to Hillary Scott's song "Thy Will be done" and I am filled with sadness instead of emptiness, and that sadness turns into joy and love for my soulmate. God fills me with love. Then I feel numb again. Then I feel my soulmate's alcohol  withdrawal. I text him and call him and he never responds. I'm frustrated. Sad. Empty. Feeling hopeless. I don't know what to do. I feel sad and weary. It will happen to force me and my soulmate to be together, until he stops being invisible. I met him many times. He's my twin. We met in the womb. We were conjoined by the head in the womb, so we share brain tissue, and we consider ourselves identical-identical twin soulmates. I know he loves me (I saw him leap, and yesterday he was pushing me on the swing. We felt like we were kids again. We are.).
    We share joy and pain. Love remains. i know God will fix my relationship with Stephen. I trust His wisdom above my own. I am writing about my feelings instead of cutting myself. I am trying not to be addicted to it.

Love,
Rebecca <3 :)