Pilgrimage to New Zealand

I feel called to move to New Zealand. It is sooo important to me but all of the red tape makes it feel overwhelming.

I swear I have good character. I am a loving Christian church goer. I am a writer. I want to help people with mental illnesses find peace, love, and wellness. I want to bring Jesus to them.

It seems complicated. So I will break it down to these steps:
                      1. Go to NZ. Get a tourist visa extended to 1 year
                       2. Apply for jobs and have an employer sign the employment part of the application.
                       3. Go to a doctor and get a chest x-ray...whats in my heart? Jesus. Get that part of the work visa application signed.
                     4. Get finger-printed and send a letter to the fbi to get a certificate of good character

I am rehearsing my plan to become a citizen of New Zealand. If it is God's plan for me (PLEASE, God! :) )I will become a NZ citizen

Looking at all the steps, it feels more possible. I can do it.

This is what I need to do:
           request this:

Identity History Summary Check

Apply to either the FBI or an approved channeler.

              FBI CJIS Division - Record Request

FBI CJIS Division - Record Request
1000 Custer Hollow Road
Clarksburg
West Virginia 26306
United States of America

Ok. It all seems difficult. But I can do it.

dreams

I had the same dream I always have. I am back in Pittsburgh and my mom is there. She says she is going to leave. I really believed I was somehow living in both Pittsburgh and Maryland. Then I thought I would go home and take a bus to downtown Pittsburgh and walk to Oakland, PA.

Another dream I had. My mom was teaching martial arts to kids. The girls were wearing dance leotards and tutus instead of gis. The boys  were wearing black t shirts and black pants. Then I was in the  wilderness and other things happened.

Spiritual warfare || poetry

I am not okay
demons are in my brain, inside of me, attacking me
I want to fight it without psychiatric drugs.
Can I be that strong?
Writing can be therapeutic
Writing can change the world
Writing can heal the world
Can I be that big, that strong?

I am not okay
Terror, anxiety
Lost somewhere, cold outside
Dreary day

Loving Obedience

Ask yourself: what does it mean to obey God? What is loving obedience?
        It means that God is not a dictator; He is a faithful, LOVING King who wants the best for us. He wants us to be happy and loved and full of joy. He wants us to do the activities that make us happy - for example, for me gymnastics dance kung fu and figure skating.
It means that God wants us to follow Him because He is wiser and knows us more than we know ourselves, because like novelists, He plotted us out - thought about us, decided what we would want to do, the scents that would please us, the being we would be forever - before He even put us in our mother's womb. He wants us to see and experience His GREAT LOVE.
He inspires us to LOVE Him with all our heart and mind and soul and strength and spirit, as well as our neighbors and even our enemies. He doesn't want us to obey out of fear, although it's okay to fear Him sometimes. Remember then, that perfect LOVE casts out all FEAR.
         Ask yourself this: What is Love? GOD is LOVE. Love is patient, kind, Truthful, eternal, and free. Love gives GRACE, which is unmerited favor, that we didn't earn but is given to us because Jesus died on a cross to destroy sin and death and chaos. He gives us GRACE because He LOVES us in a way that may be hard for most people to fathom. As an archangel, I want to love people in the same way, and do what Jesus would do, but I don't want to be Him.
           Love is LIVING WATER. Love is Jesus inside of your HEART. Living Water is given to us from Jesus, like He gave water to the gentile woman at the well. People think Jesus is a "Jew" but He is Christian, because He is the Christ.
            Loving obedience comes when you trust Him out of LOVE, knowing He is wiser. You obey for God's sake, and for your sake, and for the sake of all of God's People. You obey for your well-being, because LOVE of GOD brings you PEACE and TRANQUILITY. It's to shine a light upon other people and use your gifts to inspire and teach other people. It's to bring other people to God.

God's WORD of the day:
Old Testament:
 "And a highway will be there; it will be Called the Way of Holiness; It will be there for those who walk on that way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor any ravenous beast; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and those the Lord has rescued will return." ~Isaiah 35:8-10a.

New Testament:
"Jesus is the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under Heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved" ~Acs 4:11-12

Knowing all of this, trust that God will protect you. God will treasure you and cherish you and give you a Way out of the darkness. He is the cornerstone of LOVE. He created LOVE and COMPASSION and TRUTH. So seek Eternal Truth, and breathe in God's air. Some ways to fight evil: say, "Breath of God, breathe on me." "Oh God oh God I need you." Preach to them. "I command you to leave in the name of Jesus Christ." "The blood of Christ is over me now and forever more." "I plead the blood of Jesus Christ." Then explain it. And preach about God's LIGHT and LOVE and the demons will leave.

Love,
Rebecca

Heavenly Sports

        Some sports bring people to God. Gymnastics, for example, requires wings and super-strength. So God gives Earth athletes faerie wings and sprite wings, and they feel like they're flying. It makes them happy, and they start to wonder if they are angels, because they don't believe in faeries. Skateboarding and figure skating requires wings too. To stay in the air long enough to do a triple toe loop, you need wings. Do do tricks on a skateboard, you need extra agility and wings. It makes them believe in God, and, sometimes, they decide to seek Him. And the Holy Bible says, "Seek and you will find."
       In Gymnastics, God helps earth athletes do their flips and layouts and twists, 99.9999999%, until they get better and need less help. Practice makes perfect. For a lot of sports, wings are required. Especially snowboarding down mountains and sky diving. It's dangerous, people, if you have no faith.

Sorry I've stopped making posts for a while :)

So, its been a long time since I've been on here. I'm going to wing it.

Meditating on the Holy Bible. When I remembered my faith, i started with Mathew. I read the first five paragraphs, and then started over at paragraph 2. And I kept doing this until I felt like I really understood it.

Close your eyes, and pray God opens up your Bible to the part He wants you to read with your hand. Open it and then read it until it touches your heart. So, I closed my eyes, and I opened right to Mathew. I'm reading 1:18. It's about the birth of Jesus. Joseph had a dream where an angel told him (and perhaps it wasn't a dream; he just felt dreamy) that Jesus put Himself in Mary as a baby without sex. So, because Joseph learned about this, he did not break up with Mary. The Holy Bible says, "But  he [Joseph] had no sexual relations with her before she gave birth to her Son. And Joseph named Him Jesus" (Good News Bible, Mathew 1:24)

There are two Marys. The first one is Mary Magdalene, married to Simom-Peter. The other one is Jesus's mom, Mary. She doesn't have a last name.

My eyes were led to Mathew 3. John the baptist said, "Turn away from your sins," he said [possessed by God], "because the Kingdom of Heaven is near." (Mathew 3:2) It's the second coming. The first coming stopped, but at the second coming, God goes to earth visible, bringing all the murderers and evil British cops and rapists to hell and changing Earth making it better. He's making Heaven better too. Heaven always stretches: God makes more land on heaven.

Anti-ana

When I was younger, chronologically, I thought being way too skinny was beautiful. Then I found martial arts, and started wanting to be strong. I used to want the skinniest arms, a flat stomach, a "thigh gap". Now I want big, muscled legs, tiny kid wrists, big ab muscles. Sometimes, muscle looks like fat when you're sitting down, and that's okay too.

Ana is not your best friend. She is your worst enemy. Why do you throw away your lunch, in more than one trashcan, and then over-exercise. For me, it was running up and down staircases and doing wild toe-touches: just like my twin. My foster mom constantly told me I was fat, and caused it all. All the while, God was feeding me and I was 110 lbs, not the 70 lb skinny girl I thought I was. He let me think I was that skinny, until I was ready to realize that THAT SKINNY is weak. Some people fast to seek God. Sure, I wanted to do that too, but some of the times I hated my body, and felt uncomfortable in my own body.

Gymnastics and martial arts and even dance lead me to a STRONG body, a STRONG soul, a STRONG spirit. STARVING YOURSELF cannot make you strong. It cannot bring you happiness. Only Jesus can bring you joy. Try to love yourself. Never give up.

9/13/16

My heart hurts for the whole world. There is so much pain in everyone's lives. Too much darkness, not enough light. Vision of hope, but only feeling wrong inside.