When I was younger, chronologically, I thought being way too skinny was beautiful. Then I found martial arts, and started wanting to be strong. I used to want the skinniest arms, a flat stomach, a "thigh gap". Now I want big, muscled legs, tiny kid wrists, big ab muscles. Sometimes, muscle looks like fat when you're sitting down, and that's okay too.
Ana is not your best friend. She is your worst enemy. Why do you throw away your lunch, in more than one trashcan, and then over-exercise. For me, it was running up and down staircases and doing wild toe-touches: just like my twin. My foster mom constantly told me I was fat, and caused it all. All the while, God was feeding me and I was 110 lbs, not the 70 lb skinny girl I thought I was. He let me think I was that skinny, until I was ready to realize that THAT SKINNY is weak. Some people fast to seek God. Sure, I wanted to do that too, but some of the times I hated my body, and felt uncomfortable in my own body.
Gymnastics and martial arts and even dance lead me to a STRONG body, a STRONG soul, a STRONG spirit. STARVING YOURSELF cannot make you strong. It cannot bring you happiness. Only Jesus can bring you joy. Try to love yourself. Never give up.
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